When the king heard the words of the Law, he tore his robes. - 2 Chronicles 34:19
Josiah was a godly king in Israel. However, before he came to power, the nation had fallen into all kinds of evil. One man, Manasseh, had brought the nation to a condition of inexorable evil. God finally had enough.
Therefore this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I am going to bring such disaster on Jerusalem and Judah that the ears of everyone who hears of it will tingle. I will stretch out over Jerusalem the measuring line used against Samaria and the plumb line used against the house of Ahab. I will wipe out Jerusalem as one wipes a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down (2 Kings 21:12-13).
Josiah came into power just before this judgment. He began to clean up the evil by burning all the idolatrous temples, ridding prostitution and homosexuality from the streets, and destroying occult shrines. He did this without the benefit of even reading God’s Word, but through the Holy Spirit working in his heart. Then one day the ancient Scriptures were discovered in the temple that had lain dormant for years. They had a profound impact on King Josiah.
When the king heard the words of the Law, he tore his robes. He gave these orders to Hilkiah, Ahikam son of Shaphan, Abdon son of Micah, Shaphan the secretary and Asaiah the king’s attendant: “Go and inquire of the Lord for me and for the remnant in Israel and Judah about what is written in this book that has been found. Great is the Lord’s anger that is poured out on us because our fathers have not kept the word of the Lord; they have not acted in accordance with all that is written in this book” (2 Chronicles 34:19-21).
Josiah was broken. He tore his robes in repentance. He fell to his knees and repented for the wickedness of his nation. He stood in the gap, and God honored Josiah; however, it wasn’t enough. God still had to judge the nation for its previous wickedness under the reign of Manasseh.
“Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before God when you heard what He spoke against this place and its people, and because you humbled yourself before Me and tore your robes and wept in My presence, I have heard you, declares the Lord. Now I will gather you to your fathers, and you will be buried in peace. Your eyes will not see all the disaster I am going to bring on this place and on those who live here.” … (2 Chronicles 34:27-28).
God spared Josiah during his reign, but after he died judgment came upon the nation.
No nation is immune from God’s judgment. Pray for your nation today. Pray that your nation will have a repentant heart among the leaders and the people.
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don’t go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say “Usually my dates buy me dinner first”
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don’t like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say “Oops! That’s the wrong name.”
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say “License and registration, please” right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing “La La La, I can’t hear you!”
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it’s a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar…..
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he’s telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm….only 5 of you here tonight…….
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don’t know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops…I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don’t do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say “Look at the pretty colors!”
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party
Star if you like it.
Desperate to get some help before he finds out you switch on his computer to find SOS plumbing and end up causing a short circuit from the humidity which blows up his computer AND tv.
And finally when you go downstairs to apologise the shandelier in his living room drops onto his head from the pressure of the flooding upstairs.
A few months ago, the sink was draining slowly. I removed the sink stopper and cleaned some gunk away, but slow draining persisted. I removed the “pee trap” (the U-shaped dip in the pipe just under the sink drain) and cleaned out a bunch of debris out from that. I thought that surely this would do it, but not so. I filled the sink with water hoping to push the clog through with the large water volume, to no (immediate) avail. I continued using the sink, thinking I’d call a plumber soon. Over the course of a day, the sink suddenly began draining normally. I thought the clog had gone for good, but no.
Recently, the sink started draining slowly again. I decided to fill it with water and use a plunger to loosen the clog. When I began plunging, I heard a release in the pipe and the water began draining normally. Yippee! Wait… a bunch of water and nasty black debris just backed up into my tub through the bathtub drain!
Now I have a sink that drains just fine, but a bathtub full of muck with a totally clogged drain. I tried plunging the bathtub drain, but nothing is budging. I really don’t want to call a plumber unless I absolutely HAVE to, so if anyone out there can tell me a do-it-yourself solution to this problem, I’d be so grateful! I hate it when they come out and spend five minutes fixing it by doing something totally simple that I could have done myself. Thanks!
I’m on sewer, not septic. My sink and bathtub both lack overflow holes, but the tub does have an internal plug operated by the up-down switch thing.
New advice?